Superman

There they go.  They are about to accept their diplomas.  My son has my eyes, the way they dart around and analyze things, and can show appreciation for the sudden intake of green they endure during a summer's day, out on this field, where so many parents have gathered to celebrate.  My daughter's a bit more cool and collected.   She has her mother's eyes.  Calm, shy, but fully aware.  I can see her observing the graduation banner sitting on the North Gate that she helped designed.  It's absolutely perfect.

They survived and now they are a team.  I taught them to make each other stronger, to see each other as best friends.  They took their competitive energy and used it to inspire each other. They never hated each other.  They always stood up for each other.  I taught them that they were special, that they were both leaders.  But even I was shocked at how much potential they both had in those little eyes that used to look up to me from the safety of their stroller as I told them about how trees get their life from the sun.  They loved the sight of the trees, and the sight of the sun.  It was only natural they would want to know how they are related.

I did my best to predict everything.  I knew my son would start to roughhouse before my daughter, that he'd be less afraid of the tools and the furniture.  I knew little Vicky would have a knack for reading she would exhibit a few months before Kenny.  I saw this, and I had them play with each other and learn to read with each other to compensate.  I told them the truth, that Kenny would catch up in reading and that Vicky would be better at playing catch in just a few weeks.  I gave them their fair praise.  I smiled when they did a good job, and when the other faltered, I encourage the better talented one to show their teammate how it was done.  I smiled.  I laughed.  I reinforced their teamwork.  I reinforced their progress.  My wife and I both worked really hard.

I taught them to be reserved but never ashamed.  There was nothing wrong with having to pee blood once a month, or having a strange dream and waking up to find the bed sticky with an unidentifiable bodily fluid.  There was nothing wrong with growing taller, getting hair in strange places, and having emotions that they've never had before.  "Love other people, but be your own person… Be your own person, but love other people.  Try to see through them and get to know them.  If I teach you to be wary of certain people, I'm teaching you learn from afar.  But never be afraid to learn."  If they asked what the F-word meant, I'd tell them.  If they had questions about sex, I'd give answers.  "Even though this stuff is really interesting, don't let it distract you from your school stuff.  Don't talk about it around people who are uncomfortable.  But never be ashamed of who you are."

True, my son was never ashamed of his anger or arrogance or lust.  But he did know how to control it.  Kenny's first girlfriend was an arrogant bitch that was almost as good at karate as he was.  But he saw through her.  He saw her foolishness and recklessness.  He knew how to talk to her.  He wasn't shy.  He had confidence.  He wasn't the kind of guy she could humble with a kick to the nuts.  He taught her that some people were just too strong to be dominated.  But he made one thing clear, that it was her strength and confidence he loved, and that she should never give it up.  He helped her find the right balance between being strong and still being human.  

It wasn't long before he fell out of his naive infatuation.  But I know he still calls her.  I know he still likes to spar with her out at the dojo.  I know, even if he doesn't realize I do.  And I'm proud.

Vicky's words strike with precision.  Both my kids got good grades, but she had something different.  When she wrote an essay, she became passionate about her point.  It drove her insane to have to bind herself to words like "visual imagery", "metaphor", "symbolism", but I taught her ways around it.  Those words were not the main point of her paper.  They were support for her idea, her thesis, and her points. All she had to do to please the narrow-minded teachers was just go into a little extra detail here and there. Vickie knew her principles.  She was loyal to them.  Her strength meant that she could easily handle her first boyfriend, a poet with a passion for justice but otherwise as hormone drenched as the rest.  She worked hard to protect him from himself and herself from him.  The day he tried to convince her that sex was something to be expressed freely, she said that sex was just a part of a relationship, that it was one of the most special parts, and that she wanted to save it just a little longer even though she felt strongly for him.  But already her mind was at work.  She watched carefully with a calm eye, and saw his friends.  She saw the pressure he was going through.  She saw the embarrassment.  And with astounding bravery she confronted them directly, though in secret, and told them "Even though I don't want to have sex with him I still love him.  Please stop pressuring him, ok?  I'm looking out for him as much as you guys.  Don't see me as an opponent."  She had such a boundless level of courage she was able to articulate all of this in a sweet voice that disabled her targets.

And she only cried once the day they broke up.  She still has the courage to look for her true love one day.  She knows how it happened, she knows why, and she forgives him with all her heart.  That's courage even I couldn't have taught her.  Her mother reminded me that I'm the one that taught them how to learn, which means they're going to pick us a few tricks on their own.  That shocked me and made me smile, and gave me a sense of validation I didn't even realize I needed.

Here they are now; Kenny and Vicky Gonzales.  They're accepting their diplomas.  Wow…

Vickie looks like she just beat a grand master at chess.  Funny she should have such a look.  She's worse at chess than me and I suck.  Kenneth got his just earlier.  He twirled it like a baton and turned to the crowd bellowing "Hell yah!"

They're so confident… Kenneth is smarter than I am… Vicky is too.

They had everything I never had…

My God… I actually did it!

I actually did it!  Wow…

My wife was actually right about me.

…

"CONGRATULATIONS VICKY!  I TOLD YOU!  DIDN'T I TELL YOU?  YOU ROCK!"

I can't wait to run up to them both…  I can't wait.

They did it.